okay y’all. so since the holiday shopping season is upon us once again, on behalf of my retail brethren (and sistren?) i’d like to set some ground rules. this applies year-round but is especially relevant now, given that this time of year is the ONLY time some people venture out to the mall at all. those are the people that will most likely commit these infractions.
9 times out of 10, what you’re looking for is not “in the back”. don’t even ask (you will), don’t demand that i check anyway (if you’re especially douchey, you will), and don’t become angry when said item is, in fact, not there (because i already told you).
we are not magicians, witches, fairy godparents, Beyoncé, etc. i can’t pull an Obey crewneck out of my ass, nor would i like to. if i could you’d ask me to mark it down anyway, so pls. just pls.
don’t stay in stores past closing time. the shit is rude and we would like to go home. some of us take public transit, some of us have children, some of us have other jobs, some of us have to be right back there again at 6 am and you are HOLDING US THE FUCK UP.
please don’t fight with employees about company policy and procedure. most of the time there’s nothing we can do. if you bought a dress that makes you look like a sparkly buffalo and still waited too long to return it, that is definitely your fault. not ours. live with it. regardless of what society has led you to think, the customer is not always right. the customer is hardly ever right.
the nicer you are to us, the nicer we are to you. being a dick will have you missing out on all types of discounts and sales, b. when you’re unpleasant, we’ll most likely want to ring you up and send you on your way as quickly as possible. when you treat us like human beings, we’re far more likely to go above and beyond.
keep this shit right here in mind, and we’ll all have a joyous holiday season.
if i forgot anything, which i’m sure i did, feel free to add to this!
me when i get off work
and I call this photo 100% pure bottled sex appeal
Some days I feel like Beyonce and some days I feel like Rihanna…
This Starbucks has raised the bar.
in no particular order…
Who’s That Girl
Into The Groove
Like A Virgin
Crazy For You